LoNeLy.....

Movinggggg

2009-10-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

People.. decided to open my other blog... will be mostly blogging there... there is much easier to use..

Hairyplotter.wordpress.com!!!

Alex~~

A nice song to ponder.. =)

2009-06-17T03:13:00.002+08:00

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush aint going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush aint going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush aint going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Nature, Mind game, Alex, IBP, toughest, Challenge, Opening up the ball....

2009-04-27T02:15:00.007+08:00

well.. i know i say there would be a few post coming in.. but those are gonna be long post.. thus i guess i will leave it till after exam.. trying to write up a short (hopefully) post though about yesterday...

Short- went sentosa, sun burnt, went vivo eat, went minds cafe, send her home, went home..

Long-

Well.. i was doing something the previous nite, till Ibp reached home.. chatted with her till 4 plus? while doing what i was suppose to be doing... finally finished at 6, 6 plus. went to take a short nap, woke up at 7am.. and proceed to Ibp's hse.. wanna give her a surprise by going to fetch her.. tried some delay tactic on her as i was afraid she might left hse b4 i reach.. but the bus was faster den expected.. =)

Gave her a choice of breakfast but she didnt want to.. ended up jus a packet of warm(or rather, HOT!) soya.. proceed to take a bus to the MRT station.. before entering the station, she decided to drink the soya 1st.. she cant finish! and so i drank some for her.. but still cant finish, thus we threw it away after finishing like half a packet.. proceed to take the purple line to harbourfront.. BUT guess wat, it happened to us again.. we were as usual chatting and talking.. till i suddenly heard "Seng Kang" wat are we doing there? turn out, this blur girl had once again lead me to the wrong side and i had jus blindly followed her.. lolz.. the last time was buang kok, now seng kang.. hmm.. next time it shall be punggol.. rite? =p

upon reaching sentosa, proceed with our frisbee plan.. and boy was it freaking hot.. the sand was so hot too.. mr triston lin yifeng did came up with an idea of a silicon bra, no i mean shoe to protect the feet from the hot sand.. patent to be out soon, do take note. haha

but well.. sentosa also provided me with a chance to do something.. surprise! Ibp.. bet u didnt know i had it planned all along.. haha. hope u like the frisbee.. even though it is jus a practice frisbee.. and u! bluffing me tat the letter wasnt there.. i nearly wanna run back to the sand and search for the letter...

went vivo for dinner after sentosa... after which.. there was a group decision to go minds cafe.. the 1st waiter that served us was weird.. the game he intro us was weird too.. but after tat, playing the telepathy game and the dirty mind game was fun.. with the 5 of us.. almost all of us had high telepathy.. claris and melvin is a couple.. claris and Ibp is good fren... melvin, me and mr triston lin yifeng is good bro.. and mi and Ibp got great telepathy too.. thus it was quite fun to see how true it was.. and so.. the high score of the day was between me and Ibp... 6!!! happy not! melvin and me had the next high score at 5! well the highest was actually me and yifeng but we cheated so tat wasnt counted.. haha! after mind cafe, we ended the day....

On our way to minds cafe, the conversation about you started out of the blue.. but i was glad it started.. it was a matter of time i bring it out to u anyway.. 20% is too low i told u.. 35% u increased it to.. but no.. i am still trying to get it to 45% and from there, to 51%... like wat we said.. the tresh hold % once hit, it will be easier to break down. i am going to try my best to make u open up.. how? i wont force, i wont press... i will just be there always.. ready to listen.. and will be the person u can trust no matter wat.. i will earn ur trust.. i will earn it and i will hit 51%... a challenge it might be, and like what we say, it is so tiring at times but we will still do it.. cause it is in us.. vicious cycle we cant get out of, i told u..

there was quite a few thing we talk about in the cab and on the way to ur hse.. but i dun think i am gonna write it out.. thinking back, i was still thinking why did i say those thing out and it is all from the bottom of my heart... lolz.. but u know what i am talking abt can already.. the bottom line is that well.. like i say, i care... =)

The ball is closed and i will try to open it.. trust me.. =)

Deep in thoughts...

2009-03-16T03:29:00.006+08:00

It had been a wonderful few day.. with this coming weekend's Batam trip promising even better anticipation..

Quite alot had been happening.. But.. i wish it to remain like this for now.. and we shall see how it come alongs in the future.. sometime u end up losing something u dun even wanna wish to lose.. so there is alway a thin layer of glass we are stepping on..

I feel great.. I am happy.. i feeeellll.... SUPERHUMAN..

Weak
I had been crying and crying for weeks
How'd I survive when I could barely speak?
Barely eat, on my knees

But that's the moment you came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invincible
I see through the me I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing
To me with your love

I'm feeling all superhuman you did this to me
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you

Superhuman
I feel so superhuman
Superhuman
I feel so superhuman
Superhuman

Strong
Since I been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like I had it all along
I can see tomorrow

Where every problem is gone because
I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It's unbelievable to see
How love can set me free

You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing
To me with your love

I'm feeling all superhuman you did this to me
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you

Superhuman
I feel so superhuman
Superhuman
I feel so superhuman

It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going gone away
My only weakness is you, only reason is you
Every minute with you I feel like I can do anything
Going, going I'm gone away! Love!

You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing
To me with your love

I'm feeling all superhuman you did this to me
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you

Superhuman
Superhuman

An 一切完美! day....

2009-03-11T02:30:00.010+08:00

Wed 11th of March.. was in school for global marketing lesson.. but it was also an important day! cause i was having a date with IBP! =)

was waiting for class to end the moment i enter the lecture hall.. lolz.. well lecture did end early but need to talk abit abt project... ended up still early.. so i decide to head to town to get the movie ticket 1st.. we decided to watch Marley and me.. As shevon and jasmine needed to go town too to meet their frens, so we headed down together.. i brought camera for the occasion and they pestered me to take a few photo and so here goes!

Shevon and jasmine

Me, Shevon and Jasmine

Jasmine and i alighted 1st as we were heading toward PS area while Shevon continued towards ochard area. jasmine accompanied me to get the movie ticket and i got the ticket to the 7.15pm show.. we went to PS after tat and while heading to the 2nd level, IBP called.. and so i ask her to meet me at the entrance of PS as i rush over to find her.. she was on the dot, 6pm and we headed to Cuppage Waraku for our dinner!!

IBP.. =)

Our food..

We had a great time (or at least i did =p) chatting while having dinner.. in fact.. we chatted till we forgotten abt the time.. our movie was to be at 7.15pm but we chatted till 7.10pm! and so we rushed to The Cathay.. I saved ur life IBP, or u would had been knock down by the car.. =)

When we reach The Cathay, we saw julian Hee.. and after tat we saw 2 senior hk actress and actor.. one of them the name is called zheng jiang if i not wrong.. haha.. anyway, we got into the cinema and i guess we missed the 1st few min of the show..

Marley.. is such such a cute dog.. reminded me of my dogs in the army... well.. i think the movie wasnt tat great.. it was funny at times.. sad at times.. but not really a very very good show like wat some of my fren had told me.. the part where Marley was put to sleep was quite sad though..

After the movie.. we decided to have Rochor Tao Huay!

The Rochor Tao Huay place we had been there for a few time already.. not bad.. was able to have a nice chat over there too.. but due to her being very tired.. we decided to leave.. we went to dobby ghaut to take the purple line.. was suppose to stop at pontong pasir.. ended up...

BuangKok!!

We were so engrossed in talking that we miss by 4 stop! lolz.. ended up we stop at BuangKok and took the opposite direction back.. so funny la.. and it was a bit scary.. as this station totally had nobody ard! maybe it was the time.. but still.. so we decided to take some photo! (or as she put it, I decided.. =p)

The empty station!

Us.. =)

We After taking the train back.. send her back to her door step.. As ALWAYs.. lolz.. and was rewarded with cookies she bought back from Taiwan! well.. after tat i went home lo.. All in all.. it was an 一切完美 day! As well as an 一切完美 Date! =)

P.S: From talking to u in the MRT, i could sense something had happened and u r not feeling that happy.. Something is bothering you.. U r not telling me YET.. but i hope u will tell me soon.. or maybe i had not ask u more abt why u seems unhappy.. but i just wanna let you know.. no matter what happen.. i will be here for you.. just like the past 3 year plus where i had alway been around for you.. it will nver change.. =)

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

2009-02-04T01:51:00.002+08:00

I am not emotional...
At least i feel i am not as emotional as i was 6mth ago
or 12 mths ago.. or even 18 mths ago! haha..

So i repeat.. I am not Emotional

I just...

I just......

I just........

feel for you more than u will ever know... =)

PS: like is too "unserious" while love is too strong a word, thus...
i feel for u more than u will ever know!
For who then? well... YOU?

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps!!!

Projects!

2008-09-17T02:13:00.002+08:00

Wow, the amount of project that i have this sem is really killing me! 7 project for the whole sem! i am left with the last month of the sem, discounting the fact exam start at the 3rd week of oct and guess what! i still got 3 project yet to be done! being in the business course since poly days, i had expected myself to be constantly bogged down by project and exams, but uni took it to a whole new level! this is such a huge huge sem! as i hand up 1 project after another, i find myself getting more tired and have less and less of motivation to do the next one.. it is like u had put in ur energy for one project, handed it up, 2 day later and the whole process repeat itself again!

it is really getting very tiring... i find myself slacking, find myself giving excuses to start work later.. this is not good... this is my 2nd last sem, with result being consistant for the past 2 sem, i cant afford to slip up! i am getting irritated with myself... oh ya.. talking abt project.. i am still the chief editor for most of the projects.. woah being the chief editor is sure damn tiring and metally draining.. lolz.. i am setting records after records for cutting amount of words in an essay... last sem my record was cutting a few thousand word.. this sem, my record was to cut a prt of the essay from 6-7 page to 3 page! hahah... but i really feel like i cant take it anymore!

regarding the misunderstanding in the group, let just say that it wasnt anger. it was more of a disappointment. i am someone who find it hard to get angry at a person, especially if they are a good fren. the reason i avoid or communicate less is i dun know how to face the person. i cant get angry at the person when i see the person yet i still feel uneasy abt smth, hence the avoidance. what i feel is that, having done project together for the past 1 year, a certain amt of chemistry had been developed and we knw each other strength and weakness very well. i dun see any problem in telling each other how we truly feels. no one will blame anyone if they dun know wat to do, however do spare a tot for the ppl waiting for ur work. expressing problem early will solve a lot of problem. it will also save time and no 1 will blame anyone. the only thing to feel pai sei is should u keep all ur problem to urself and letting it be discovered by everybody last min!

anyway that problem is settled.. so i dun wish to talk abt it anymore... i really need support my frens.. somehow, i think this sem is not looking as rosy as what i wish it to be.....

Once again

2008-07-10T23:54:00.002+08:00

Once again, i left ppl thinking if i am not going to blog again.. lolz.. but nope i am back with a short post.. haha...

result for last sem is out.. well.. not bad but not good enuf.. somehow HD had once again hidden from me again.. well.. still got my last 2 sem to try for a HD.. lolz..

cant really organise my tot for now.. maybe i will be back... soon.... =)

=)

2007-10-06T02:55:00.000+08:00

To the few who actually do read my blog, so sorry that i had not been updating.. haha.. was lazy and well moodless to blog la.. lolz.. well, life have been both busy and yet very bored.. funny rite.. well i feel very happy that i am studying already... yet this particular schooling life is so very different from wat i had alway experienced. there is basically no campus life.. i dun have a cca and i usually go home after sch.. well that sort of sucks and i dun like it.. although i know joining track in poly was part of the reason y my result was ideal but no excuses, i really wanna have a fulfiling life in uni man..

i have been visiting NTU, to look for some old fren to play badminton and basketball.. the feeling was great to be able to exercise again.. even though i have to admit, my leg had not recovered 100%.. considering it is already more den 6 month since i tore my ligament.. well, maybe it cant recover any better den now? hahah.. but i really wanna play badminton, basketball, soccer, table tennis, vball and any other sport!! uni life is basically projects, test, exam.. haha.. sometime i am just so stress that why i am not as stress i feel i should be.. my parent is actually stressing mi already and i am so not motivated for certain module la.. JIAYOU! must not give up!!

Was actually inclined to blog after watching this particular show on tv.. yeah i know i was suppose to be studying for my History of Management thought test on monday but well.. i decided to chiong after the show.. so what is this show abt? at 1st i tot nth of it.. was jus watching it.. den as the story unfold, it is actually a story with wonderful moral behind it.. dun read if u got no patience ahz.. haha...

Deep in Thoughts

2007-10-06T02:08:00.000+08:00

rui and ching is a couple who are alway arguing with each other.. however, their love for each other was actually very strong, so no matter how big a fight they have, the very next moment 1 of them would have gave in and start to think of way to make the other party cheer up and feel appeased. they went thru a lot of up and down but their love remain strong and unknown to them they had already shared a very very strong chemistry. in 1 particular scene where the 2 of them are arguing in the car, and thus rui drive faster and faster before suddenly braking. his sudden braking cause the car behind him to ramp into his rear. the driver of the car behind who look like a gangster thus come out and approach him scolding him.. at this moment, ching got out of the car and started scolding the gangster. rui, seeing his gf scolding the gangster also came out and started scolding him.. their scolding in unison, even the gangster scare and drive off.. that is how strong their chemisty are..

once, after yet another arguement, they decided to go for a holiday in europe.. rui hope that it would be a good trip and pack all their luggage and stuff into his car the night before. the next day, when they went to the carpark, he found his car missing.. he was in panic and wanted to call the police but ching insisted that they go for the holiday and report the car missing when they come back.. rui was very angry and had a very very big fight with ching.. it ended up with they saying "let break up!" and so ching went back to their hse to pack her belonging while rui took a cab to the police station...

while on the way to the station, rui sorted out his thinking and decide to go back home to look for ching.. while on his way back , he saw his car parked at the void deck of a building! he quickly went to inspect the car and when he opened his car boot, he saw a guy suffering a gun shot wound in the boot instead.. at this moment, 3 other guy appear and ask him to get up the car.. however the very next moment, a police van had appear at the scene and a gunwar happened..

for the next part of the story, rui was forced to be with the grp of gangster who are actually coming to hk for a deal. due to rui being a ER nurse, he was told to save and help the guy with the gun shot wound. as he follow them ard, his gf sense smth amiss and thus being to look for him.. the most bastard part of this show is 1 of the best fren of rui who is a cop actually suspect rui of being in cahoots with the gangster.. wtf right?.. haha.. as they go ard looking for one another, it ended up with them robbing the bank and forcing rui to drive to the pier.. due to them being shot and needing blood tranfuse, they called ching to get it for them..

i was amazed at how brave ching was to save her bf.. and she was actually very clever too.. she actually manage to catch the person collecting the blood from her and in turn threaten to kill the collector unless they free rui.. HOWEVER, rui, knowing that most prob he is going to die as they wont let him off.. pleaded with ching to just leave the blood there and run.. this is a very sad scene as they pleaded with each other.. finally ching relent and ask the boss to keep his promise. rui tot everything was oki till the boss ask the collecter to bring ching to him too.. at this moment, rui jus went crazy and started punching the shit out of the boss.. as the boss and 1 of his fellow is injured seriously, they cant really fight back much..

as ching and the collector of the blood(happen to be the wife of the boss) reach the pier, they saw rui and the boss shooting each other.. and when the boss wife saw rui shooting her husband to death, she drove her car with ching in it toward the sea.. after which she jumped out and walk toward rui, firing 1 more shot at his shoulder.. she den commited sucide beside her husband..

rui jump into the sea to help ching out of the car even though HE DUN KNOW HOW TO SWIM.. he managed to save ching out of the car but he himself, suffering from 2 gun shot wound and lack of oxygen, fainted... ching went up for some air and dive back in to save him but he was too heavy for her.. as the scene of ching repeating going up for air and diving in to try to save rui happen over and over again, it was really heart whenching... in the end, rui woke up, push her up and ask her to go, he cough out a burst of blood and dropped dead.. that was when all the flash back of them arguing came back..

i felt this story tell somethings.. when u really love that person, let her know... no matter what happen, alway be there for her and cherish her.. do not come to regret 1 day that u have not done enuf for that person.. couple out there.. cherish each other.. no matter what difficulties u face, main thing is face it together.. communication is very impt.. rui and ching might alway argue but their love for each other really shone thru... their sincere care and love for each other nver relents... only sad thing is that rui died in the end... so pls cherish ur relationship and be there for each other...

if u r actually patient enuf to read till here.. i have something to say.. or maybe u r like some ppl who skip the middle and jus come read the conclusion... haha.. anyway.. i had decided to come clean with something.. people alway ask mi if i had been in a relatonship before.. i had alway said no.. why.. maybe it is so as not to be reminded of something that make me very upset... but now i had decided to face it.. yes, i had 1 relationship before.. if u consider it a relationship.. i was with her for 19 days.. she nver ans mi when i ask her did she ever like mi b4.. maybe i was jus playing the role of subsitute.. i broke up with her 2 day before valentine day.. and by valentine day she was attached.. maybe i was damn naive that time to actually go into a relationship like tat.. maybe i deserved it.. i really did put in everything into this.. i not sure if she rem but i actually folded a heart for her every single day where we are together with a sweet little msg inside the heart.. i really put in everything liao lo.. but well.. there is no right or wrong in love.. right? i still dun know y i alway say i wasnt in a relationship b4.. maybe i dun consider this a relationship.. so well.. if u ppl consider this as having a relationship b4.. i had 1.. a rather forgettable 1...

我已经相信, 有些人我永远不必等...

布拉格恋人

2007-08-18T03:38:00.000+08:00

The time now is 0340am.....

As i sat in front of my com, listening to my emo song playlist and trying hard to get motivated and inspiration for my employment relation essay...

i feel.. i feel.. i feel...

as if i miss someone so so so so much... like missing someone to death..

problem is...

i cant figure out who is this person i am missing to death.. strange aint it? i really dun know who is this person i feel i am missing...

~~布拉格恋人~~ a very nice show.. yet i know it sure have some sad twist tat will be quite sad...

当你, 被他抱拄.....

'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

2007-07-28T00:39:00.000+08:00

Pls stop being emo ALEX.... dun emo!!! but Alex cant help it.. how??

'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

A post for SAM

2007-07-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

Time flies... in a flash, i had left sec sch for like 6 years already... nth make mi realised how much i miss my sec sch classmate till we had a gathering jus last week. sort of like a sending off party for 1 of our classmate samuel, who is going to Aussie land.. NOT COMING BACK OF COZ!! damn... i know sam since we were in pri sch.. pri 3 or 4.. that make us fren of 14 yrs~!! i can still rem we used to stay so near to each other.. den he shifted.. so some freaking big hse.. and till tat time i still got alway go his hse.. his sis was so little den and now he tell mi his sis is 16.. lolz..

the gathering was marred by the death of irwani's grandfather thus the whole grp of malays gers were unable to turn up.. so sad... anyway we met up in vivocity... wow wat can i say.. all of us had changed somehow or rather... ALL of us confirm had matured... but 1 thing remained... our bond as the class 4/1!!!

our sec class had had a few gathering already... although not all is present alway (40 ppl is A LOT of ppl!!) but those who turn up are those that alway will turn up for any sec class function!!
we talk like no 2moro and everyone contributed so much funny thing.. i dun even rem playing a joke on a teacher and got chased out of class till sam pointed it out.. we had so much fun and laugh so much with all out funny antic in sec sch... we are not the best class in term of result.. but in term of bonding and giving teacher we dun like hell.. hmm.. we are a force to be reckon with!!! hahaha... i think not only mi, a lot of us too.. actually were almost brought to tears with all this stories and reminiscing... i think sam was hit the hardest.. he is leaving us for good while we can still seek solance in each other in singapore...

goodbye sam.. we will miss u..

i so so so miss my sec sch classmate and sec sch days.. i feel like crying..

the MOST successful class gathering in 2005... REMINISCE....

2007-07-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

i know i know.. i am the most lousy... =x

the most successful class gathering!! 2005... sentosa... dream team of class 4/1!!
1st row:mad scientist, shah, shummi, mike, beng, kyaw (jiao), martian
2nd row: seow, "winnie" soff, addict aka keong, kev, chengyi, chuen ming and sammy boy!

the hippest ppl in sentosa tat day!

crazy fun soccer action!!! i miss it.. can we have it again pls pls pls!!

2007-07-27T23:48:00.000+08:00

The 15 years of frenship shall nver be forgotten.. take care bro... do come back and visit us...

Ehz.. how the heck to we set this up??

stupid shah.... bowl until so un GLAM

correct la.. liverpool is the best team in the world la... the team u saw playing so well is liverpool.. not MAN U...

2007-07-27T23:47:00.001+08:00

beng, seow, shah!

Dun act sehz la...

Come! a grp pic!

Another 1!! with ermm balls?

2007-07-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

seow.. keong.. shah... sam... kev...

ehz! i am the top scorer!

138 nia... damn... jus 3 strike and 5 spare.. damn..

seow... shummi... sammy.. mike.. beng...

解脫

2007-06-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Jen,

I waited for one year, before i decided to write this very letter. However all the content inside this letter was form along the one year. Seriously i am at a loss at what to write now.. there is just so much memories i want to write out yet it is so disorganised. i also cant hide the fact that i dun feel much anymore, thus i have to resort to listening to a lot of song, especially emo song to aid me in writing this letter. guess what is the song playing now? "UFO- girl on tv".. i do expect u to know the significant of this song =)

This one year, i had alway thought about what really happen. Did i do anything wrong or say anything wrong? In fact the weeks leading up to 20/06/06 we were still doing fine and in fact we went out a few time. As such i dont really understand what happen that trigger the reaction u had toward me. Why had i set this one year milestone u might ask. but i really wish to move on already... in my mind it is not about having a chance or not since the day where we finally ended our super cold war, by being in the same bus home, you receiving the msg from the gals and me, receiving the msg from, yifeng. We walk home 2geter, after months of cold war and from that moment which we talk again, i know it is no more a matter of chance or no chance. in my mind i just wish to carry on with the very good friendship we had built by going thru so much. note tat i had say friendship, nth else.

I really value our friendship a lot. how hard is it to find someone of the opposite sex yet get along so freaking well, no backstabbing, can go for dinner and movies and jus plain old window shopping? that is why i was so disappointed by you in the past 1 yr. After going thru so much for the frenship, i expected more resilent of this frenship. Even if i might have done or say something wrong, u could had jus told mi. even if u r going to get attached or wat, we should still be fren right? i tried asking you.. i send countless msg to you yet u nver reply. i was the one making all the effort to find out what is wrong and trying to salvage the frenship.. yet u are just ignoring mi.

Once again i am stuck at not knowing what to write.. okie, Rem the time where in the mist of this 1 yr milestone i met u at the middle of the road near our hse.. i rem writing this down in my hp the very next moment after seeing you...

"i saw her.. finally.. at 7:35pm 16 dec 06.. after so long... yet the response is disappointing.. spoil my mood for the day.. funny thing though, the song playing n my mp3 was jian jian dan dan.. we might not had been able to see each other.. she had not seen mi till the very last moment.. and i was msging on my phone.. at the middle of the road i saw her.. for a good sec i glance at her.. she look like she was not ever gonna look up.. till the very last sec.. she looked up and saw me.. the face, e response, the familiarity.. all disappoint.. the look was like she finally saw mi, something she doesnt want to. i see it in her eyes.. somehow, when i saw her response, her eyes.. i knew something.. i knew that all the arguement, happy moment, presents, outing, phone call, journey home, carrying of bags, msn chat, support, frenship, tears, laughter, shouting, secrets and love doesnt matter anymore.... every single thing matter no more... for they are all gone... "

actually i saw you again 3 day ago... i was alighting the 190 u were boarding.. however, this time i really felt nth.. really nth.. i was quite happy to know that maybe i had finally move on.. that i dun feel anything much already... comparing what i want to write in the letter 300 day ago, to 200 day ago and finally to now.. i had cut away a lot of thing.. i decide not to write abt thing and memories which might make ppl think i still cant get over u.. that i still like you.. having said that, i still have to say u will alway be special in my heart... as a fren... a close fren...

i still believe you chose to cut off this frenship with ur hand.. i did all i could to salvage it but i cant.. as such i believe we might just have to end it here... Jen.. was a fren of mine...

解脫..... 是肯承認這是個錯.... 我不應該還不放手.... 你有自由走..... 我有自由好好過.....

2007-06-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

I will miss you...

A yr had pass us by..

2007-06-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

1 yr had jus pass.....

Some random fact u might know/dun know abt Alex....

2007-06-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

#1
Alex still believe he should be an officer.. He felt he have all the ability, leadership and skill to be one.. however jus his studies and fitness let him down.. even though he have been a sergeant so long, he is actually still quite bitter...
#
Alex is a person who act super confident on the outside but is actually very low on self esteem on the inside.. =(
#
Alex nver really got over being made use of in his supposely 1st and only "relationship"
#
People nver realise how serious Alex's leg injury is. his ligament is torn, but bcoz he is still trying to play bball, wear shoe and boots, ppl tot it is not serious. but the pain he felt every time after all those activity only himself know.
#
only carry bag for 2 girl in his life till now... (those 2 lucky ger!)
#
Alex dun wanna set the 365 day benchmark but he need a dateline to move on. he cant jus keep on saying wanna move on but nver really go abt doing it...
#
Alex feel he really very very sorry toward 1 person.. sorry..
#
Alex really really wanna study uni... was so disappointed when cant get into those few uni... so have to be so happy and glad can go SIM!
#
the 1 person who really understand Alex the most is his best bro yifeng..
#
My boyfriend is type B, Just my luck, Eragon, wala wala, nite out is part of my beautiful memories
#
The Sentinal, Silent Hill, brewerks, coffee club express, wala wala, track AGM, NYDC dinner, shopping, the blue watch, the blue box, the necklace, my perfume, my bday, walks home, i dun know if it was happy or sad memories... soon to be forgotten anyway...
#
Alex now jus wanna be A simple Guy with a Simple Dream, & A simple Hope, to Find a Simple Girl to live his Simple life with....

Corrine far far away land bday celebration!

2007-06-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

lolz.. Sunday, the next day after yifeng commission, i was on my way to meeting him again.. this time to the far far away land of tampines to celebrate our dear corrine chong's bday... lolz.. wah lao.. so far.. lucky is u ahz.. some other tom dick harry u think i will make the trip? lolz...

And so mi and yifeng made the long long journey down.. talking cock along the way.. haha.. catching up and toking abt the tracks day... finally we reach tampines and took a cab over to her aunt hse..

upon reaching, went up and say HAPPY BDAY CORRINE!!! haha.. and she scolded us for being late.. lolz.. but anyway, saw lot of old pals there and of course was damn happy and did catching up too.. lolz... tok alot and saw old pal anky who is now corrine's beau... haha... last time told him they sure 2geter.. den he keep on say bullshit, impossible... now so farking loving.. prove tat life, fate is also impossible to tell.. but i am damn happy for them!!! corrine i had alway treated her like a sister.. and anky of course one of my best bud in poly...

During the party, anky brought out a bottle of vodka... haha.. and i ask him and yifeng to challenge a game of finger guessing... after playing awhile.. they realised i nver play again.. haha.. and they all rounded on mi, saying that i alway ask them play and i alway got away for the past 4-5 yrs... hahaha... but i alway win wat.. i told them and so anky decided to challenge mi... bad move i told him but he insisted.. so well.. hahaha.. 1 glass of vodka which i mixed while he was not looking.. wah damn it.. i lost a few match and need to drink.. wah quite strong la.. but heng.. the most i drink abt 1/4 of the cup.. the rest he drank.. told u dun play with mi liao.. i am not called the zu shi ye for nth.. muhahah!!!

we took quite a few photo.. can see later.. hmm... after the party, went to town with yf to walk ard and shop shop.. cant find anything so after tat went home liao... hmm... quite a few fren of corrine which i saw b4 at the party but a few new face too... 1 caught my attention bcoz 1stly look a lot like my fren.. and 2ndly.. she got a certain charisma.. hahha..

2007-06-16T23:37:00.000+08:00

Hunks and erm.. babes?

HAHA... nice prank corrine!!!

2007-06-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

monkey corrine!!

point here and there!

finally!! good take!

Once again, the only photo to show for yifeng commissioning..

2007-06-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

Mel... Me... Man of the Moment.. Claris.. Ray.. Big yf...

The Bro who know me the best in the world & his commissioning!

2007-06-16T22:13:00.000+08:00

Dear dear dear... hahaha.. said i would blog on the day yifeng commission but well.. been busy and very tired.. so nver really blog.. haha... okie.. let tok abt yifeng commissioning day ba!!

Well well, after suanning this bro of mine for so long, he finally commission!! congrat congrat!! but i am still not scare of a lowly 2LT!! haha... but well my bro, unit life is gonna be so much different when u r a trainee.. so be prepared!

i met up with the grp of bros for yifeng's commission, well surprisingly, raymond & big yifeng was there.. cause i rem them saying they might not be going. Guess mel manage to get them to go in the end. I was glad they came, becoz tat is wat bros are for wat.. being there for each other be it happy or sad! or so i tot.. haha...

reached there, started raining.. bad thing... but luckily the rain stop jus in time and the parade started.. well after tat is the same stuff as mel'commission but this time mel is complaining a lot.. abt waiting so long, not wanting to go down to see him.. lolz.. and i reminded him "HOI, last time u commission we also like tat wait can! we also go down find u rite!" and there, it works wonder.. he went down with us.. haha

2nd commission parade i had seen, still felt i should grad from this parade square =(
anyway, mel hoh... super irritated by him la.. got digi cam dun use.. keep on use his N73.. it is not tat i think N73 cant take good photo but why use hp cam when u got bring digi cam? somemore i remind u to bring de lo.. den use to take la.. use hp cam.. kaoz.... haiz.. dun say liao la.. think of this also mad liao...!!!

Dear yifeng, happy tat u finally commission but also worried for u. u need to be strong and built up ur character even more when u r in the unit.. not tat i doubt u, but ur character had alway been such tat i cant help but be worried for u. but dun worry, u will get all the advice u can get from mi, and so i think can help really ALOT liao.. haha... congrat on ur commissioning... take care in ur remaining 1 yr of service! i gonna O-R-D liao... muahahha!!!

itching to update but jus waiting....

2007-06-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

i guess my next update will be on the day yifeng commission... after which will be the highly anticipated post on 20th june 2007.. (at least it is highly anticipated for myself.. still dun know how i will feel on tat day but we shall see!)

=)

Alex is jus looking for a simple life and a simple girl.... =)

I cant breathe easy.....

2007-05-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone, i am back here to blog.. suddenly wanna blog cause got a lot of sin shi and i dun know how to say it out.. maybe as away, i find writing it out to be much much better..

Had receive the letter from SIM tat i was accepted into their business management course. As i have a business diploma from ngee ann poly, i was granted admission into yr 2 of the course. this mean i only have to study for 2 yr and i will get my degree.. By rite i should be so farking happy.. know y? cause my result in poly really suck to the core.. till today i still dun understand y.. i did study for test and exams but why did i did so lousy in poly.. yes i was very involved in track and field.. yeah i was playing bball, yeah i was goint out with fren.. BUT i really got study lo.. maybe not hard enuf.. i still blamed myself. i had work so hard in my o levels to get the result i want to get into ngee ann business studies yet i sort of let myself down with my result... haiz.. But i founs myself not really being very very happy abt getting into SIM.. i instead hated myself.. why did i do so poorly in poly.. tat i cant even get into SMU, NTU, NUS?? i am such a loser in everything.. i ask for it i guessed.. all my fren is like easing into nus, ntu, smu... while i am jus suppose to be damn glad cause i was accepted into SIM...

Sch fee in SIM is high..very high.. i have to find 21k to study.. and SIM cannot use CPF, so i am suppose to get a bank loan. my parent income is not tat high at all, and we the bank would not really allow us to borrow much. all these had create tension in my family. my parent is asking mi not to worry all these but i know they are feeling terrible that they cant even pay for my sch fee and had to relied on loans.. this make mi hate myself more.. cause if i had got into SMU, NTU or NUS den they could use their CPF which is more den enuf for my sch fee.. now instead we have to save and scrimp jus to ensure i can reapy the loan and have enuf for the household use.

I had alway plan for the worse case scenario, or rather the only scenario where i would get into SIM. i had swear to myself and god that should i had a chance to get into a uni i would strive my very best to get good grades. i had alway been in the jus do well can already mentality but not i am gonna say i wanna aim for the top 5 % in uni.. not easy but i shall try. i had alway know tat i sure have to work to support my studies but not i still have to fins a way to ensure i can start sch in july.. since i ORD only in sep... haiz.. more diplomatic work to be done with my boss...

Jus an update on my leg.. i have partially torn my ligament. 10 week out of action.. but i guess i will try to exercise a bit.. not looking well at all my face.. however my leg is really still in pain man.. i think no 1 think it is serious cause i am like wearing army boot in camp, walking ard all the time, wearing shoes when i go out, trying to walk properly... i do all these in pain maybe tat y ppl dun understand actually how painful it is sometimes.. and bcoz mi being mi, alway smiling and all, who will know how painful it is.. i can still rem tat day at camp where i was standing from morning 9am to evening 730om... my leg really cannot take it lo.. in army boot somemore can.. i am quite worried abt my leg, but tat might not be on the top of my worries bahz..

51 more day... till i will lose a frenship. i got nth more to say just that this is not my choice. i am sad to lose the frenship, NTH MORE.

Back of his mind, there was unrest
Deep in his heart, a falling quest
Every day, a harder test
For her, she would never guess
She was already, an uninvited guest
Into his heart, she has
Inflict upon, the greatest conquest

Reconcile, they might have
But the feeling remain unchanged
Love from the guy, nonchalance from the girl
Make loving too painful

One day. The guy decide
Let today be the day
That we shall let fate decide
If friendship alone,
Is enough for them to walk side by side

Even as the guy had decide,
Deep in his heart he knows
If there was only 1 person he has to remember for the rest of his life
That person would be the girl here
The girl that left the biggest scar,
Yet also the girl who left the biggest smile on his face

Love is a strange strange thing
The more u love, the more u hurt
The more u hurt, the more u love
When one love too deep,
One will easily get drunk in the wine of love
When 1 hate too long
One will be unable to repair his broken heart

The line between love and hate is so thin that it is scary
The guy love for the girl is so deep that he is so afraid that he would
Cross that line
Yet he never did.
He never crosses over to hate even though he was so close to crossing it so
Many times
The longest distance between 2 people is when the person is just standing
Beside u and yet u can’t tell her how u feel
For this guy.. He is experiencing this distance every single day
He finally realised
That the person he loves so deeply, no longer exist in this world
The day she walks away...

He always stands at 1 side, just behind that pillar
Silently and sincerely protecting her, caring for her
Yet never want her to know that
Noble or stupid he never wants to know
Cause he only want the best for her..

The WORST injury i had ever suffered in my 22 yr life....

2007-04-15T14:34:00.000+08:00

Hey hey...well well.. i guess i am lazy to blog after all... these 2 week i have been at home on mc yet i nver even blog abt wat happened to mi.. lolz.. oki.. so i shall tell u all wat happen to mi.. on the 31st of march, i went to play bball with vincent and jerry my campmate.. so i reach there and started warming up, shooting and laying up.. so we saw this grp of ppl and decide to play a game against them.. And so they agreed and we started playing.. at 1st we were losing.. and so i told jerry and vincent to play more serious.. haha.. so we started to win.. jerry went for a lay up and step on one of the spectator's leg.. he nver sprain his leg.. i was thinkin.. damn.. wanna support also dun sit so close to the court.. but den i also nver think much... THAT IS SO WRONG....

The next moment i found myself with space and i went for a lay up fast and high... and when i land... i can only say i having sprain my leg so many time b4.. nver experience such a painful sprain b4... i had stepped on one of the supporter's leg... omg.. my leg swollen like fark la... den one of the ger came over.. i jus breifly heard her saying.. "dun worry! i red cross 1... relac relac.." i was in such pain i cant really concentrate wat she was saying till she suddenly say "oki.. u ready ahz.. i am gonna twist ur leg now!" WAH AT THIS MOMENT I JUS SAID "no no!! no need!! too pain.. dun touch mi!!" hahahaha

for the next 4 hour... i cant stand up.. when i finally could stand.. i cant walk at all.. and i do mean cant.. i have to literally ask my fren support mi and drag my right foot along the ground... took taxi home.. when i reach home, i see that my leg is swollen beyond recongination... lolz.. next morning went chinese sinseh.. he ask mi go take xray! i tot nth much so went home 1st... but the pain really damn unbearable... so my dad quickly took mi to alexandar hospital A&E... the doc say he nver seen such swollen leg b4.. haha.. and told mi it could be BROKEN! omg.. i damn stunned la.. but after the xray.. found out nth wrong with the bone. he wanted to put my leg in a cast but i say bandage la.. cast if i accident hit my leg... CONFIRM broken.. haha

he refer mi to the sport injury specalist in the hospital.. when i went there after like 4 day later... the specalist send mi home with another 8 day of mc.. cause he say "still so swollen! how i check.. den u still cant walk also.. come back next week!" during all these time i really have dificulty walking and standing.. he also tell mi the possibility of ligament damage.. damn... really is the WORST injury i have for my 22 yr of life lo... after 1 week, i went back.. still very swollen but at least better den the 1st time.. he look at my leg and bcoz i still feel a lot of pain in my bone.. he asked mi go for an xray again.. come back same, not much bone problem.. and it was decided i need to pass a letter to my MO which i dun know wat he write.. den i have to go NUH, MMI building... have to go for a few physio session... have to go and see him in another 2 week time... omg.. i go back camp also cannot do much lo... suck... my mum also wanna ban mi from bball... how can SIA!! bball is in my blood... i am already thinking when can i start doing sport again.. but i now walk also cant walk properly after 15 days! how to play bball.. lolz...

2007-04-15T13:59:00.000+08:00

Look like my whole leg is so out of shape....

look at the whole leg swelling like mad.. PAIN LIKE MAD TOO!

the other side also swollen.. basically whole leg swollen la..

After the A&E help mi to bandage... my 1st ever time on a damn wheel chair too!!!

2007-04-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

I am walking away, into the ray of sunset upon mi... Can i jus throw all my troubles, unhappiness and loneliness to one side?

If the feeling is very different, can u say that it is a wish fulfiled?

2007-04-03T18:35:00.000+08:00

Hey hey! finally i am here to post abt the 2nd part of my bday.. dun ask mi why so late den post but a lot of thing happened la.. lolz.. i also not sure how to blog now but maybe jus let my "story" flows naturally ba...

well as expected, after sleeping at 0610 and needing to wake up at ard 10 plus, of coz i overslept.. jus a bit though! lolz.. tat rui la.. ask her to wake mi up and guess wat.. she actually jus send a msg to mi that say "wake up"!! lolz... joke of the day la... siao man.. if a msg can wake mi up i ask u to wake mi up for wat ahz! after that still can have a follow up msg, "ehz, u wake up already a not!" omg... no wonder i overslept.. lucky claris call mi, (even if it was u who ask her to call mi! lolz)

okie, so we went to dragon gate to have our dim sum... wah lao... this 2 ger ahz.. wanna eat dim sum buffet ahz, yet 1 scare fat, dun dare eat much, den another cant eat prawn, will have rashes!! den we might as well go other place eat other thing or wat right.. lolz... but still i ate my full there~!! and it was still fun la..haha

After eating, we actually wanted to catch a movie but alas, either the timing not nice or fully booked... and the queue was freaking long la.. see liao also sianz... so ended up going to the "rooftop" to take photo.... was freaking hot la the weather... but still a lot of nice pic tat we took and u can see it later.. lolz.. and so while we tok and play and tok and took pic, time flies and it was time to go to SENTOSA!! musical fountain here i come! wah u will not believe the crowd there man!! the show was to start at 745, when we reach at 6 plus it was already 3/4 FULL!!! guess it is of great sentiment value to a lot of ppl too... i happen to read a few of the love story that took place there and it touches every little bit of my heart.. =)

while waiting.. it was really damn humid and i feel like fainting.. out of tiredness or humidity i dun know.. but i started asking rui, "are u hot hot, fainting hot or humid hot".. lolz.. a bit copying epic movie.. lolz!!

After the wonderful show, it was off to cable car!! 1st time in my life taking it la.. paiseh to say.. lolz.. but well it was such a fun fun experience... too bad dun have the "dropping" feeling hoh Rui? lolz...

welll... after tat we wanted to go our old chee chong fan place to eat but walked till there den realised closed le!! damn.. and so we went back to a food center to eat and tok all the way to 2 plus... haha.. after which i see each of them up a cab den i go home..

thankz rui and claris.. haha.. quite fun i must say.. of course it would be so much better if there is a few more person like melvin, yifeng ard.. lolz...

If the feeling is very different, cau u say that it is still a wish fulfiled? well, it is the closest it can get so at least the regrets would be slashed by 3/4... we tok abt plots, and i realised 2 of my greatest plot have a link with... lolz...
I won the 1st round of the greatest plot.. but i lost so heavily in the next few round that i nearly lost all my confidence... have to pick myself out of the deepest abyss of the seas..
The 2nd greatest plot.. i am glad it is so successful.. cause it provide happiness for 2 person.. of which 1 is my best bro for almost 6 yr plus...
Crazy tot: NSA might not be tat bad after all... the love i give u is alway so quiet at 1 corner, hoping for some moment of concern from u... =)

2007-04-03T18:25:00.001+08:00

If i rem correctly, this is inside the lift down from the habourfront cable center?

ehz? deathnote? but so so so unlike deathnote.. lolz.. and it was damn paiseh with everyone looking at 3 of us posing!

wah super nice pic right!! like postcard!! 3 of us look so free and natural.. if only it is like tat in real life and not jus in pic.....

ehz? retarded face? with 2 even more retard? lolz!!

2007-04-03T18:20:00.000+08:00

Is it really so interesting? but nice pic ahz.. haha

He look more rigid den i do!!!

Thank you to the few thousands ppl who turn up to support the musical fountain 4th last show...

If the feeling is very different, do u considered it a wish fulfiled?

2007-04-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

1st pic with my sunglasses!!

trying to act cool in a so NOT cool weather!!

HOI!! DUn push mi la!!!

awww... come on.. dun have a fight over mi... i can only choose 1... lolz!!

2007-04-03T18:01:00.000+08:00

祝我生日快乐 or 不快乐??

2007-03-25T05:40:00.000+08:00

I jus came back from clubbing at MOS. Well in actual fact i am very awake and sober right now. awake till the fact that it seems so scary... if u all happen to see a show acted by rui.. erm no.. i mean yang jian hua.. lolz.. the title is "QIAN BEI BU ZUI"... it tell of how yang jian hua can nver get drunk no matter how much she drink... well.. i got a bit of this type of feeling... cause i really feel more and more sober everytime i club and drink... and that suck... I jus have so much feeling right now.. call it emo if u want but all these feeling is ever present in my life.. 24th march, the eve of my bday.. yet i dun feel like it at all.. this yr i started counting down to my bday only when there is like 10-12 day left... why? make no difference also... today wanted to meet some frens for dinner.. all seem not to know it is my bday 2moro.. well.. sad case.. nvm.. finally found someone, who is jackson.

Well, jus a burger king dinner and we went over to kandi bar, where i had grasshopper and he had a "multiple orgasm" wah if real life orgasm taste like tat... i rather have to orgasm at all.. lolz..

And then it was off to club.. yeah, a few of them wished mi happy bday.. but well.. i felt so so so out. guorong hit the nail in my heart when he ask.. why decide to club on ur bday, and with jus 1 fren? i jus had to say "alot of my fren in taiwan, and others not free... but 2moro still got a grp of fren celebrating for mi"

1stly, i only have 2 fren in taiwan, and yes 2ndly others not free(or dun know is my bday) and 3rdly, the grp of fren is claris and rui. lolz! take a look at my frenster list... 537 fren... 166 testi... all feel so useless to mi... cause i dun even have fren i can ask out.. sometime i jus feel that i am such a loser.. my dad alway hit the rite nail when he say.. "i tot u got lot of fren.. why nver go out? why alway stay at home? why nver go out with ur frens?" i can only jus ans him.. "erm... i like to stay at home.. i tired... they busy... no need everytime meet... alll these shit.. but he is rite.. i got no frens...

now to thankz those few who at least msg or wat... in order of merit...

1) May... thankz May... it was nice workign with u last time, alway helping mi cover this and that.. and now 1st to mms mi somemore with ur own pic.. lolz... thankz thankz..

1) SHAH! i put u number 1 also bcoz u msg mi at 12midnite zun! lolz... thankz bro.. we went thru a lot together.. so much secret.. so much studying together... so much having fun.. ping pong.. soccer.. sentosa.. gym... nycc... dinner.. lunch... helping with my com.. ur training... thankz thankz.. u r still 1 of the best bro i have and the best best malay bro i have!

2) My dearest sis... haha.. oki although i alway scold u at home.. or bully u as u alway say but it is all for ur own good... kana bully by mi better den bullied outside by other ppl rite... hahah.. thankz thankz.. yeah and not u sleeping so soundly.. haha

3) Claris! hahaha.. mrs rou ma.. thankz thankz.. i know u miss ur mr rou ma very much who is in taiwan now.. thankz a lot nice knowing u.. although u suck at bridge.. hahaha... see ya later!

4) cindy.. haha.. my da lao po in poly... thankz thankz.. wah but every yr ur msg same de lehz.. jus sing a bday song in msg form to mi.. haha.. but well thankz a lot.. cause u remember.. see when u free come out k.. i know NUS busy and stress... haha

5) Surprise Surprise!! my guai peiling!! lolz.. wah not bad ah nui er... haha.. really surprised that u text mi... well as i told u le.. u grow up le.. must interact with ppl more liao.. dun alway so zi bi.. i know u 2 yr plus liao can!! hahaha...

6) siyong!! lolz.. ehz u purposely ask ur sister to test mi is it.. lolz.. well i am thankzful la.. u alway help mi so much... we still take part mix netball competition together in poly.. thankz ahz.. thankz for answeringmy question on SIM too.. xie xie!!

7) kailiang.. u asshole.. i was expecting more than jus a text can... didnt even meet or wat... and u can tell mi even my bday have to book u in advance... this type of buddy... u can eat shit la... but well... still thankz for the msg...

8) Vincent! lolz.. wah not bad ahz.. my workmate! but ass.. jerry dun come den u dun come liao.. ps mi.. haha.. later i go back make sure ur arm really break! lolz.. but thankz for wishing mi.. my bed buddy jerry didnt even msg mi.. haha... xie xie la.. mr pussy cat SOH.. lolz

9) Si rui... hey girl.. thankz ah.. not sure if it is ur sister ask u to test mi out de or wat but still really very thankzful... haha.. really very happy to receive ur msg.. hehe... well i was clubbing la.. den when u msg mi jus nice i resting so i reply lo... ur sis msg mi when i was in the dance floor so i nver reply la... ask her dun jealous.. hehe...

10) last but not least... my another nui er... Aileen!! hahahah... wah not bad ahz.. got msg mi.. guai guai.. lolz... my this long lost nui er ahz... but pull urself 2geter and forget abt all bad thing k.. and concentrate on ur study can le.. dun think abt those sad thing.. lao pa zi chi u!! hehe

and so... that is those who msg mi for now.. not sure if there will be any later on... wah it is 6:08 liao... i meeting claris and rui 12pm at harbourfront... must wake up ard 10 plus.. hahah... but still i feel that is a need to blog how sucky i feel... in actual fact.. i feel this is my worse bday ever.. but well... almost every yr my bday suck... it oki.. maybe when i get the chance to go uni den i can get to know some true and more happening fren.. to all my fren.. i am really trying very hard already..

rui and claris... hope later will be a wonderful outing... at least salvage some of my bday.. haha... see ya all later... take a lot a lot of pic ya!!! oh ya.. everyone!!! musical fountain of sentosa is closing!!! on the 26th of march!! so sad can... if can pls go catch it... the start of a lot of romance... i once told myself i wanna watch it with the someone special in my life but now it is closing down!!! damn.. sad can.. but well.. jus go and at least u will be able to reminisce it....

------------------给你的爱一直很安静..... 来交换你偶尔给的关心........---------------

REMINISCE OF A LOVE SONG

2007-03-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yeah, back with a new post.. Well, yday went to gym and after that went to play bball... wow.. so so so so so long nver play liao den when i play really really felt damn exhausted!! In the end i guess i over exhausted myself and i ended up having a fever the whole nite.. till now i am stil feeling weak and feverish.. haiz.. must exercise more le.. cannot like tat... sucky feeling...

Was browsing thru the newspaper today when i saw that the musical fountain in sentosa is gonna be closed down on 26th March... quite sad... the musical fountain to me is quite special.. i especially like the feeling it give mi and haha.. i had alway told myself.. one day i shall watch the musical fountain with someone special. now i haven even have that someone in my life and the musical fountain is closing down.. so sad man.. really very sad...

Well... this is the month of March.. my bday month.. but also a lot of my fren having bday... let mi see got who.. anqi, ricky, may, sunil, mi, wyne, sha, xinhui, valerie, junli, selina, tay kah woon... etc... wah so many!! hahaha
BUT OF COURSE THE MOST IMPT IS MY BDAY LA!!! muahahha jus kidding...

but as i have said in previous post.. my best bro will all not be ard for my bday... quite sad.. but well.. lonely bday lo..

Again i shall end with a story... hope it touches ur heart...

Salty Coffee - very touching He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys were chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him. she was surprised, but as he was polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to anything,
She felt uncomfortable, she thought, "please, let me back home".

Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt I'd like to put it in my coffee. Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby?

He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there. While saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That's his true feeling,from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man who loves cares about home, has responsibility of home.. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her far away hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he had tolerance,was kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: " My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you----the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.

Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste. But I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again." Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?

..............it's sweet. She replied.......

Melvin.. ur prediction nver come true after all... =(

In the Mood to Blog....

2007-03-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

Suddenly jus felt like blogging... Finally had my new computer on sunday... power... i like...
It is so damn nice the interface and all.. of course.. it couldnt take much off my mind abt the previous nite.. Thing were made worse when man u won liverpool in the most tyco tyco shit i had ever seen... lolz...

Suddenly feel like blogging cause got some view wanna express... also dun know why...
I feel that sometimes, human emotion is jus so had to control.. and at the least expected time, emotion tend to overcome you and it can result is dire situation. I dun wish myself to be like tat ever again but i know something jus cant be controlled.

It wasnt abt dancing.. u know? =)

Let mi share this story...

A guy and a girl can be just friends... but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe,

just maybe...forever....

As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her. She said thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

**************** 11th grade ****************
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' . I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

**************** Senior year ****************
The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said, he's not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together-just as 'best friends'. So we did.

Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends but I'm just too shy.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angle up on stage to get her diploma. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service, they read diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.

This is what it read:

I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! 'I wish I did too...' I thought to my self, and i cried....

...........................REMINISCE OF A LOVE SONG......................

HAHA!! I have been looking for days in HONG KONG for THIS!!

2007-03-05T20:40:00.000+08:00

MY LOVE!!!

2007-03-05T20:35:00.000+08:00

Wifey 2!!

2007-03-05T20:32:00.000+08:00

Wifey 3!!

2007-03-05T20:29:00.001+08:00

Wifey 3!!

No worries i suppose...

2007-03-04T22:09:00.000+08:00

A bit Harsh....

A bit Hurt

A bit more of worrying u r angry

Very much sorry

=)

why...

2007-03-04T03:53:00.000+08:00

`No rights at all... PERIOD.

Why did i go?

=)

6000 yr of love....

2007-02-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

This prove that love had been ard for so long... touching picture!!
LoNeLy^AleX

Finally....

2007-02-11T02:30:00.000+08:00

Okie... i know this had taken way way too long to come out but while.. i finally have time to blog!! haha... yes RUI... i blog liao oki? lolz.. dun keep on complain i nver blog la.. really very busy can... although i still got time chat with u in msn but i no time to come sit down and blog la.. haha...

Well well... the last time i blog was when.. let mi see... NOV 14!!! wah.. really very long liao.. no wonder rui complain.. haha.. so what had i been doing for the past 2 month? well.. i had been so so so super busy with work that i dun even have time to be angry at bro who are not making effort to spent time 2geter, dun even have time to chat more to some of my dear fren, dun even have time to go town walk walk, dun even have time to ask some ppl out to go for lunch or dinner and i dun even have time to check out what is the latest happening ard singapore and the world!!

All this things were caused by the MP SEMINAR that finally concluded yesterday.. or rather friday!!! yeah.. finally it was over... the event went by without any major glitch... thankz goodnessss!!! i am in the committee of this MP SEMINAR and was the assistant secretary.. wah damn stress sia.. in charge of so many thing.. i WAS ACTUALLY DOING ALL THE JOB OF A SECRETARY LA!!! only that any major decision were made by the actual secretary.. but all the other job i do for him la... i can even stay back till 7 plus jus to vet a email he need to send out.. funny rite..

At the start when i knew i was being tasked to do this job i was quite blur as to why i was the 1 doing it.. but i tot to myself, this is also a good chance for mi to prove how good i really am.. and that by bring me over to this branch, they have actually found a capable person! and so i was very dilligent in my work and try to do the best for everything.. everything was running quite smoothly till problem coop up among the huge pile of work coming at 500km/h!! ppl start having problem and i have to start settling problem for them.. small error start to surface and i started being scolded.. it doesnt help when the 3 superior on top of u pile work at u at the same time and when u clearly put them in order of importance they will only question u "so my work not as impt is it?" and so stress started piling themselves on mi.. my man started to give mi problem.. my fellow buddy sergeant is not being very helpful... and finally i blown up 1 day.. after yet another scolding, another pressuring of "den my work not as impt as the other 2 ahz?" and yet another problem my man give mi... i threw all my work on my table and i storm out of my office.. i called my bro in dog wing.. ask to meet him for a while.. he was playing table tennis so i went over and look for him.. as i sat down and watch the small table tennis ball boucing from court to court, i was so worked up.. i could jus burst into tear yet i know i must not.. i am a solider.. i am a man.. must not give mi.. and so i controlled myself.. when my bro finish playing he sat beside mi and asked what happened.. this is when i burst out all my pent up anger and told him every single shit that is happening.. i was actually like AWOLING... i told no 1 where i when, i told no superior and i jus storm out of the office.. but after talking to my bro... he calm mi down and told mi not to do anything stupid.. had a long talk with him before finally deciding to get some food den return to office to continue my work.. after 1 hour 30 min....

But well.. when the MP SEMINAR concluded, a sense of pride and achievement overcame me.. all the hard work, all the time spent, all the late nites, all the arguement, all the meetings, all the scare and solution, all the scolding i kana and all the praise and congratuation i got... all this make the work worthwhile.. i believe that should i still remain in dog wing, i will never get this type of sense of achievement and pride.. In the mist of doing all these work, i get to rub shoulder with the top lvl ppl, the LTC (*)(*) , the CPT lll , the LTA ll , the MSG <<<*>>>, the SSG <<*>>> , the 1SG <<>>> , the 2SG <>>> and the 3SG >>> (MYSELF!) and not forgetting the man under us.. Everyone put in effort and in the end was the sweet result of everything running smoothly!! kudos to everyone... when the phototaking session of the committee took place after the event.. i felt so proud to be part of this team.. especially when my big boss came over and shake my hand "well done alex! we finally did it!" i could only reply.. "yes, thank you sir.. WE did it!"....

Even though i was so busy, i try to relac and chill during the weekend so i can sort of destress and recharge myself before going on war again the coming monday... However to my disappointment, i found all my bro is not free at all.. some by choice, some got no choice... i know i got too few fren but what make mi so dishearten is when i truly needed them to be there for mi they are not ard... where were they when i was breaking down and needing somebody to talk to.. where were they when i am so stress and need someone to accompany out to even jus have a meal, or take a walk just to destress... jackson in taiwan.. yifeng decide that he wanna save money so dun wanna go out.. even when i say jus go out talk talk or have a drink he say once he go out he will be tempted to spend and so dun want... believe it a not? kaoz.. kailiang keep on kana duty.. and melvin... busy.. i only know he tell mi he busy but i nver know what he is busy with... and so for 3 weekend i think, i spend it at home.. muhahah!! steady rite... relac and chill at home.. tok to my bed to vent out my stress... wonderful... sometime i think perhaps it is jus 1 sided i treat some of them as my best bro... maybe i am not so impt afterall.. i can be the most understanding toward my bros.. but dun exploit it... dun jus say i will understand.. and use it everytime.. ya everytime i understand, so if i keep on understanding will this be how u going to continue to treat mi? why am i alway the person to call u all out.. ya i understand u ppl character is not to make the 1st move so if i understand are u all going to continue to wait for mi? so now that i have ranted all this out are u all going to say.. "aiya, he dun understand la....?" how oxymoron... haha... i am not saying wat la.. but sometime u will jus get sick and tired of being the only 1 who understand... friendless feeling... every single 1 of u all will nver know/feel how i feel la...

3rd of feb... a birthday of one of my fren... well this fren shall leave the deepest scar in my heart... i can swear to god that no 1 come close to the happiness, hurt, depression, joy this fren had ever given mi.. the deepest scar will forever be in my heart.. i dun know what happen but it seem that out of the blue this fren is not talking to mi anymore.. i send msg and the reply would be vague.. most of the time no reply... come on.. after all the thing we went thru to build such a strong frenship and now u r doing this to mi? it had been 238 days since we last talk.. haha.. And i dun even know if i had done anything wrong... but well... some thing u can forget.. but the scar will still be there.. maybe it is time to move on and dun hope for any more "frenship from this frenship..."

well... i am not totally free now... still got to wait for 2 more day... monday and tuesday i still have to attend a seminar... after that i will truly be free for at least a few week bahz... i wanna play bball!! i wanna run!! i wann exercise and train!! haha.. well.. chinese new yr coming but oh ya.. before that comes, there is still the day which i am lonely for the past 21 yrs.. valentine day... lolz.. how i wish that there would be someone to spend it with mi... if i were ever outside and saw those couple i would sure wish that there would be someone who jus like mi for who i am and accept mi for what i am... now i am not being desperate... jus that i long for the feeling of being liked/loved by someone... guess this yr gonna be a super lonely valentine day for me once more...

oh ya.. a few bad news for mi.. 1stly.. i kana duty on 1 day of chinese new yr... 730am to 730pm... i quite sick and tired of seeing ppl pushing to each other to do duty on this day and so i jus say i will do it.. so cant complain much also... 2ndly.. well i received the news that 2 of my best best best best bro will not be in singapore during my bday this yr... jus great... really great.. maybe i can try a lonely bday... a new day to be lonely.. hahahah.....

pardon mi for this freaking long post.. RUI sure complain but well.. very long nver blog so much post more ma... maybe later i suddenly busy again lehz.. den must wait long long to blog den u complain again.... oh ya rui... that day where we went to balcony... i guess not only a chance for mi to help u de stress... but also for mi myself... and ya.. u were the 1st 1 i told abt the stress and problem i faced... really thankz u for being here.. and thankz for making mi laugh... hehe... remember our pact... emotional outlet! rem? guess u forget.. tootpid STML! hahaha no wonder still 8.5.... bleah! =p

-----我站在你不遠處, 默默的為你祝福-----

2006-11-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Well, it had been quite long since i last blog.. haven been in the best of mood for the past few weeks or even months.. I dun think anyone know how i feel, not even my best bro yifeng and melvin... If u ppl noticed, i had been keeping myself away recently, haven been going out, had been offering to do a lot a lot of duty... haha... jus to keep myself occupied and not much time to think abt anything.. yet dumb in the sense i felt damn sianz when i am doing some of the duty.. haha...

The past few weeks and months haven been easy for mi.. i had to do a lot of self control and also thankz to my frens who were ard for mi, i manage to drift in and out of a mini(if u call it a mini 1) depression.. haha.. actually i dun really feel okie already, but i ha sort of tot it out and back to my usual mentality which is, rather make the ppl ard mi happy den sad.. hee..

Work had been hell.. really.. i alway have the highest respect for warrant officer.. much much more den commissioned officer. yet i am so farking disappointed with my current warrant officer.. he really make our workplace a living hell.. a few of us really have to control ourself to prevent us from getting into troubles... i especially feel tat my unit is very unfair to sergent from my HQ company.. we dun get the respect, the recongination and the dignity we at the very least deserved... however i shall not say much, shall try to endure as much as i could.. but i am scared, scared tat i cant take it soon.. (if only there is someone for mi to share all my problem with...)

Some of u ppl might noticed tat i also chatted less on msn.. i dun know y, sometimes i jus feel so so sianz tat i dun even know wat to chat abt.. haha.. but yeah , i pick myself up slowly, pieces by pieces.. so tat ppl ard mi will not miss my jokes, entertainment and cheerful personaility...
I am quite stucked at wat to write abt the past few month and happening le.. so maybe i shall jus write abt sat nite.. haha

Okie, so i doesnt feel like going out for so long and so many time... So on sat , claris asked if i wanted to go out and walk walk, shop shop, eat eat... i was thinking.. well.. see who is going.. so there i tot mel, yf, her, rui and mi would be there la until it started raining... and rui say dun feel like going and all these.. so i tot the trip is gone liao.. but den i decide to go ask rui wanna go a not, rain like smaller le.. and so it was decided and peiling was coming too.. so we decided to meet 545pm at orchard mrt.. I KNEW tat they sure late so i leave my hse late also.. wah so zun tat i reach the mrt station claris jus come out of the control station lo.. such superb reading of the time.. hahaha!!

And so we started shopping ard.. omg these girls! they walk into topshop and tat stupid rui, know i wasnt paying much attention to where we walking and i was jus following ard, she walk straight to the lingerie section... kaoz.. i jus walk out of topshop and shop ard on my own man.. hahaha.... after they finish with their shopping ard, we met up again and we went to NYDC for our dinner... and once again, tat rui and mi (& PL) displayed our chemistry or rather she copied mi as we ordered the same food and drinks! lolz.. so we were chatting, having fun eating out dinner and at the same time, they were gossiping abt SARAH! lolz.. girls will alway be girls..

We had our dinner till 8 plus when yifeng finally arrived.. ass.. so late... we den proceed to MINDS cafe.. i had nver been to there and the game there was quite dumb la.. lolz.. and yes rui, good for u, kept ur PROMISE of flattening my hair.. hahaha... but the joke of the day was peiling.. reaction so big till the "hammer" flew all the way to behind the counter.. hahah!!!
Well, after the games, we dun feel like going home yet so ended up going to balcony bar to have a drink and chat.. SOMEONE underage ahz, or else we can go aircon place, in the end have to sit downstair at the no aircon place.. hoh CLARIS? lolz...

We ordered some finger food and beers which were shared between mi(2), yf(2), rui(1 1/4), claris(3/4) and peiling (0)... lolz! WELL, i have to say this was my BEST chatting session so far within the last few month.. peiling was a bit ZI BI, sat alone at the swing till nearly got picked up by an ang mo! lolz... luckily yf went over to rescuse her.. HERO RESCUSING A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS! lolz... ehem ehem ehem... lolz

Basically i have to say claris, rui and mi talk the most and i guess alcoholic drinks does make u relax and talk more freely and openly.. i was seriously amazed by some of the things we tok abt and the fact tat we converse like adults and was open, truthful and respectful to each other while talking make it even more meaningful.. i was surprised tat some of us nver flinched when some of the more awkward topic was chatted abt.. I think after this talk, the 3 of us had reach a new lvl of understanding, and our frenship has gone up one lvl too.. i feel that is was alway 3 of us who make the most of all these talks, no matter at these type of chill out session, chalet staying up or at rui's hse.. We even talk of 1st impression! and how we try to conceal our true personaility hoh rui? lolz..

Even though we 3 may all be irritated by the same person in one way or another, we shall keep it our DIRTY LITTLE SECRET ya! lolz.. As wat claris had said, we should have more of this outing and have more of these type of talks.. i totally agree!! There is some things tat i work super super super hard to get and i have to make sure i dont do anything dumb to throw it away, rite claris? hmmm.. and ya, online at the same time after we reach home which is ard 4 plus! lolz..

hmm... think i shall end here with this chinese sentence which i sort of chance upon.. super meaningful yet a huge trace of sadness in it...
那一瞬间,我终于发现,那曾深爱过的人,早在告别的那天,巳消失在这个世界上....
In english, it means, "At the moment when we said goodbye, I realised the person which I had so deeply loved, no longer existed in this world....."

super meaningful aint it?

SAT 090906

2006-09-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

Today is a special day.. y? cause my best ever bro melvin is going to commission from OCS today!! hahaha... have been waiting to see my best bro commission for 9 mth liao lo.. so die die today i sure will go and see his parade.. haah... but before going for his parade mi and small yf went over to gombak stadium to support our Ngee ann team track... hmmm not a bad showing, especially in the hurdles... but i cant see the team spirit being as strong as our batch when we got 3rd.... haha....

After tat we met up with big yf and ray to go to the parade 2geter... haiz.. hard to tok abt the parade with no pic YET! lolz.. anyway it was a grand affair but got 1 person do the wrong drill.. oki, sorry, i in MP so particular with drills.. haha.. anyway after the parade, we went over melvin's hse 1st while he have the commissioning dinner with his parent..

while we are at melvin's hse.. claris called mi.. and yes, so we are gonna meet.. but as melvin hasnt come back yet.. i keep on stalled for time.. ended up she and ruina wait very long.. haha.. sorry sorry..

and so we met them in town and we proceed to swensens to celebrate big yf's bday.. haha.. had a great time there and really talk a lot.. haha.. suan claris like siao and ruina was on my side.. lolz!! ya especially the TE TE TE TE TE... muhahaha...

after tat we proceed to partyworld but kaoz.. so super ex so we nver go.. the guys were like knock out so ended up MI entertaining the 2 of them.. was saying a lot of lame joke and some really funny joke.. wah really laugh like mad.. ppl walk pass sure think we 3 mad.. haha.. and ya.. si ruina.. so slow.. da gun gun.. lolz... now become i am gun gun and u wanna da mi.. lolz..

oh ya.. below is the photo we took tat nite.. haha.. the 8 lian pai is i suggest de.. continous shot, not much time to prepare.. and got a grp of guys opposite us looking at us which make us look crazy.. but it is damn fun and i think the effect very nice.. haha... I LIKE IT!

after tat we jus split and took cab home.. haha.. on my way back i msg ruina.. careful marble.. lolz.. and her parting msg? shit u! lolz

2006-09-19T22:17:00.000+08:00

the only pic from the commissioning parade which mel send mi.. still got so much lo.. faster la mel!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

bros!! from left.. big yf, ray, mel, small yf, MI!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:14:00.001+08:00

wah i like melvin's pattern here!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

bros!!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

claris's umbrella!!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

both acting demure.. haiz.. which they are totally not!!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

ehz... tall and short? lolz
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

1st lian pai!! u r number 1!! but which finger is tat u r pointing!!! haha
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

2nd lian pai!! u so happy i look like pig is it?
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:57:00.001+08:00

3rd lian pai... look at monkey yifeng!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

twist! 4th lian pai.. lao tu... look at claris constipated face.. muhaha!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:56:00.000+08:00

5th lian pai!! i cover ur face u cover mine!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:54:00.000+08:00

horn for u! 6th lian pai
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:53:00.001+08:00

loser!! 7th lian pai...
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

finally! the 8th lian pai!!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

A yr ago, 070805.. at ard this time.. was the day before i was suppose to enlist into army... it was also at ard this time.. tat i had a talk with someone.. it left mi so sad.. it left mi feeling the worst in my life... it ended up with mi going into army a super super sad man.. it ended up with mi being super miserable when i was confined in camp for the 1st 14 days... i still have tat msn chat log with mi.. and reading it jus make mi feel... time flies.. yet.. u nver forget some things.. cause they leave a scar in ur heart which could nver be erased!

A tale of u & mi...

2006-09-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

quite a few day never blog liao and so i am back here... hmmm... so wat shall i talk abt... oh ya.. rem the performance i talked abt in my previous post abt mi having to "siam" a car tat wanna bang mi? while on the actual day of the performance i really very nearly got knock down.. luckily i was fast enuf and manage to "siam" the car... a lot of ppl told mi later how good it was and i told them "cause i really nearly kana knock down!!!!" muahahhaa...

erm sorrie guys.. while i was blogging, i went to read some of my msn chat logs and history.. and now... i am quite affected... dun really have the mood to write anymore.. so sorrie... maybe 2moro bahz.. the msn logs.. hmm.. bring a lot of emo to mi.. sorrie...

the lost feeling had not left mi yet..
the lone feeling is still there...
where'd u go...

2006-09-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

mi..
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

my chio bu...
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:40:00.002+08:00

lisa!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:40:00.001+08:00

ano!!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:40:00.000+08:00

aoey!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:39:00.003+08:00

cute!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:39:00.002+08:00

cute!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:39:00.001+08:00

mers!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

puppies!
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:37:00.003+08:00

athos
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:37:00.002+08:00

bessie
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:37:00.001+08:00

mers
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

daisy
LoNeLy^AleX

2006-09-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

MerS!
LoNeLy^AleX

I love rainy days...

2006-08-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

w0o0o... was on my way home from melvin hse when it rained jus now... i love rainy day.. especially love it if i am on a long bus ride, listening to my mp3.. my mp3 is jus so bonded with mi tat it will auto play slow, emo song when it is raining and i am on the bus.. hehe... jus now on my way back, it play jessica simpson's take my breathe away... gareth gates's too serious too soon... darren hayes's insiatiable... and den... david tao's i love u... wah.. super pei he my mood when taking bus home on a rainy day.. muahha!! i love my mp3.. even though it is jusa muvo 4 GB... yeah!

okie, so today i went to meet up with melvin my best bro... been ages since we went for a bites and have a good nice chat... so today we went to jurong west to have prata.. congrat to him, his OCS team won the AHM this morning! lolz... damn it.. he is such a freaking good runner while i am jus a good jumper.. muahhaha... BHB.. sorrie... and so since it had been a while since we chatted, we had a lot of catching up to do.. we tok abt a lot of PEOPLE.... and a lot of INCIDENT... basically a lot of thing la... lolz.. some sad.. some oki..

After tat, went to his hse and catch soccer... muhahaha... darren was at home too.. darren is his brother.. i intro him to fantasy football.. haha... after which melvin had to book in and i left even though darren ask mi to stay to catch the soccer match...

Oh ya.. i wanna highlight this.. i once had this very close fren.. we had a super super super great arguement and i del this fren's number from my phone list... yes, i did memorise the number way b4 we even had the arguement... however i told myself.. i will never re key this fren's number back to my phone.. in the end we solve our problem and became even closer.. but yet i nver re key the number.. cause i told myself.. till one day.. when i nver use the number until i forget the number.. den maybe it is time for mi to forget abt this fren.. i hate to say.. at the rate now.. i am afraid i might really forget the number... i really dun want to.. =(

I FOUND IT!! I FOUND IT!! I FOUND IT!! I FOUND IT!!! muahahha... i recall back to ur clue of saying it is actually very easy to find and i FOUND IT!! lolz.. dun wanna give mi the address rite.. keep on bleah mi rite.. lolz.. now i found it liao lo!! YES I FOUND RUINA'S BLOG... muahhahah!!! yeah!! BLEAH! =P

TGIF!!!

2006-08-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

wow... finally the weekend is here!!! yeah!! aiyah... got ppl say my post very long lehz.. sianz... i also very sianz.. dun know wat to say la.. today went pass smoothly la.. played bball.. i love bball.. but today ahz.. wah lao.. they play so rough.. i dun like to fight la.. if not.. wah.. i would have elbow them to death... but i am a nice guy so too bad la.. lolz... wah.. really dun know wat to type.. think maybe 2moro when my mind is more organised den type la... tat ruina la.. say my blog too long.. argh! den dun tell mi urs! bleah!!! oh ya... i saw someone online today.. but i nver went to tok to tat someone.. y ahz.. how come ahz.. cause tat someone might have forgotten mi liao? lolz!

Can u believe it?

2006-08-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

whahahhaa... i cant believe it myself.. i update my blog 2 day in a row!! Maybe i can start to blog regularly! hahaha...

Today was a typical day again... in the morning, arrive in camp and after 1st parade, started washing the kennels.. today i decide to wash the kennels rather den taking out the dogs... bad choice lo.. damn the hose.. got problem de... by the time i finish washing, my pant is all wet lo.. but nvm.. army lehz.. anything also must bear ma rite... lolz.. anyway i was used to it liao.. not the 1st time wat... hmm.. today i had my unit 40th anniversary parade rehearsal again.. okie.. i am now going to tell u wat i am involved in...

The scenario is like this, mi and my fellow sergeant will be conducting a vehicle spot check... the 1st car that we check would not have any illegal item and will pass thru the check smoothly... and now come the 2nd vehicle... as i signal for it to slow down as it approach the checkpoint, he speed up and try to knock mi down.. or rather, the instruction was to brake in front of mi... at this moment i am suppose to jump to the side and roll 1 round before drawing out my gun and aiming at the driver.. the driver by now should be attacked by a guard dog already...

At this time, the search dog handler would have arrived and would report to mi and i would ask him to search the vehicle as we suspect there is explosive in the vehicle.. and so 2 rifle is found and everybody clap and tat it! lolz... okie wat is challenging for mi, i am suppose to do stunt and jump out of the car way, but wat do i am on mi is... a "baton", a handcuff, a walkie talkie, a P226 handgun, and a $180 dollar shades that i am wearing... wah lao.. when i jump i also have to consider all the cost of this thing and take care not to spoil them lo! but i was quite fun "siaming" the car.. lolz..

the thing lasted till quite late and i went home late la.. as in everyday, on my way home, it was alway a time when i think alot again.. lolz... everyday when i go home... i will take a very very very slow walk back home.. from the bus stop at the main road to my hse.. let mi see.. abt 5 bus stop length, i will walk really slowly... the reason i myself, also cant ans... is it, i am trying to see if i can meet someone? or is it i am thinking of the days which i used to walk tat road.. but with company? or is it. or is it.. i jus dread to go home and face the 4 walls? i have to admit, i love my parent.. i love my sister... but i somehow is not super close to them as in i will wanna rush home and see them every day!

now i am jus in front of the com, getting ready to sleep.. i am listening to class 95fm.. strange? yeah... during the day, i will sure choose 97.6 or 98.7..... but at nite.. i listen to class 95fm bcoz of their love songs.. hehe.. i am diff from other guy is guess.. i am 1 who is quite emo.. i put all my heart and soul into wat i do or someone i treasure... i show how much i care with little action Which most ppl tend to overlook.. i feel that no matter wat happen in life.. it is the small things tat matter.. it is the small thing tat is the sweetest and hold the most memories.. of course tat doesnt mean i du do the "big" thing too.. lolz...

shit.. why i am talking abt all these? lolz... anyway.. i hope to be able to contact some of my fren again.. i miss a lot of fren.. even though i know some will think that they are not even close to mi last time but yea, i still miss them.. i miss TB05, i miss TB19... i miss NP TRACK... i miss a lot of thing.. but.. i also miss a lot of ppl... i miss brewerks... i miss sentinels... i miss silent hill... i miss the road walked home.. i miss... i miss... i jus miss... no i am zun... i will not miss a shot in bball!!! muhahahaha.. okie.. trying to be funny again... tell mi i cheer ppl up ya? tell mi i am funny and a good fren ya?

oh ya.. hope i can continues to blog regularly... hope u all tag and give mi some support k.. haha...

let end with a poem i wrote myself last time.. lousy dun scold mi k.. (i got a prize for poem composing in pri sch lo.. muhahahhah!!!)

tears nver flow back to your eyes
memories nver fail to shine
scene of u float across mi in time
how i wish i was blind
sorry is nver a crime
so, so so sorry i am time and time
tears flow but never will i
be able to turn back time
i guess i could nver lie
u had became part of my life
so take care for e millionth time
cause i nver wanna see u cry...

sometimes... Alex jus feel like he is the loneliest man alive...
and sometimes.. sometimes... Alex might jus cry himself to sleep... =)

Can i start to blog regularly?

2006-08-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

wow... more den 1 yr since i last posted... such a long time had passed... hmmm... omg... wat have i been up to in the past yr? in the Army where else!

The past yr had been a very new and curious period for mi, i have to admit even though i was in the ncc, i was shocked by the army.. being in a totally new place with total stranger put even the bravest to fearful puppies!! okie, i was jus being kua zhang! BMT, a place where i learn to grow up.. but also a place where i learn that even if u try to be as frenly as possible but not all ppl will be ur fren.. backstabbing, bitching... omg.. but glad i still found some true fren there! Sad to say it was also in BMT tat i drift away from a lot of ppl.. very sad... haiz..

Went on to SISPEC... hmm.. very sad tat i did not make it to OCS... sad might be an understatement... i was devasted... but jus blame it on mi not being as physically fit as an officer should be.. in term of leadership i would say "bring it on!".. i am no stranger to leading.. haha...
FOXTROT COY, a place where i really learned a lot of things... made a lot of new fren too... i really miss SISPEC days... was one of the most fun place i can ever be in the army.. and it was here tat i got promoted to the rank of CPL too.. sispec warriors!

Procced on to MILITARTY POLICE SPECIALIST COURSE! wow... i went for the interview for fun only and wow! i got in... damn funny.. It was in this course that i trained up to become fitter than i ever was... ya, still not tat fit but at least compared to anytime of my life, i was the fittest when i was in this course.. haha... this course was the best la, i enjoy the company of my "fantastic 4"!! we did all sort of crazy stuff... laughing our head off when we are being punished... laughing at each other during stand by bed... lolz.. waking up in the middle of the nite to have biscuit and chit chat.. omg.. i am missing them already!

NOW, posted to narcotic section of the dog training wing, i am a very sad and low morale man..
frankly speaking i have no wish of being posted here even though everyone say this is the best place, enjoy life the most and all those shit.. but the only good thing i feel is that u get to go home everyday... being in this place, being asked to sweep leaves, clean up the place, build stupid construction, pick stupid stones, all these damn shit.. HECK MAN! i am a 3rd sergent for goodness sake.. i went thru so much shit, sweat, pain to get this rank.. i must at least be doing something fulfiling wat.. to put it in a crude way, i am ashamed that i, a 3rd sergent, is not leading man, protecting the country, fighting... yes, i might not be the fittest spec, but i rather lead my grp of man and go thru stuff which we wil rem forever rather den waste my hard work to sweep leaves and do all those sai gan!

Enough of the army stuff!! haiz.. how abt other aspect of my life u ask?
i realised, i got a lot of fren! tons and tons of fren! but it is a case of yeah i know this person and that but we are jus hi, bye... how many fren do i really have tat i can ask to go out regularly and can pour my heart out to? less then 5 i guess... many time i feel so lonely, so super lonely... oh ya.. there this person.. i got a lot to tell u but i guess there is no chance le.. ZING

went to melvin bday chalet tat day... got 1 person want mi to tok abt her.. so here i shall.. THE WORST BRIDGE PLAYER I HAD EVEN PLAYED WITH!! muahhaha... CLARIS! omg... wanna kill mi liao rite? lolz.. i had know her during new yr when i went to ruina's hse.. but at this chalet was where i really tok to her more.. or rather in way of suanning! muhahaha.... she is so super blur la.. i only display 1% of my power and she blur liao.. lolz... oh ya.. i call her DUMBO.. lolz
but she is someone i can chat well with.. but tat day when chatting with her, i was reminded of some things.. she say her classmate buying her strepstil.. so good... i tot to myself, i used to buy someone strepstil too.. did she ever told some1, "so good"?... she tok abt missing american next top model.. and again i was reminded.. tat someone used to be such a fan of ANTM.. she will catch every single epi and if i sms her or wat when she watching she will jus ignore mi or send a vague reply.. haha.. i guess i really miss her... no matter what.. she is still the closest girl friend i ever had..

haiz.. i feel like i still got a lot to say but i really dun know what to write now.. a lot is on my mind.. but dun know how to convert it to this blog.. haa.. i miss sch... army made mi realised how much i miss studying... i feel lost every day now... when i "knock off" from work, i will be like all alone with no one to turn to.. even the simpel thing of finding 1 person out for dinner or bowling or jus go out i cant... there might be ppl i can ask but somehow or rather.. i didnt ask.. what is happening to mi? i am still the cheerful on the outside guy.. but deep inside?

sometimes... alex jus feel like he is the loneliest man alive...
and sometimes.. sometimes... alex might jus cry himself to sleep... =)

No matter what.. No matter when.. No matter who

2005-03-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

Woah... i am graduating in like 2 weeks? OMG... time really flies man.... suddenly my whole poly life had jus flash past... what is some of the regrets that i have in poly? hmm.. 1stly.. i join track too late.. only when i was in yr 2... haiz.. den i wasnt as involved in sport club (SSC) as much as i would liked.. getting into a relationship that is so "fake" rite from the start.. in the process losing someone which i truely truely liked... wtf am i thinking? damn myself... hmm.. how abt not studying hard enuf? and not getting to know more of my fren better!!!
i think i will seriously miss all my fren when i graduate.. i cant imagine life without them... and i am going army soon... A important girl in my life once said that guys should really go army, cause after going army, they are liked a changed man... truely know how to look after ladies.. hmm.. maybe she is rite.. army do change people.. even when i was in NCC.. it did sort of change mi...

den i wanna tok abt a post my fren made.. the one abt roses and tree.. i jus wanna say.. sometime there are ppl who jus wish tat there is jus a small little flower there.. no need rose.. jus a small flower will do.. yet they can nver find the flower and have to leave the field empty handed.. think i am one of those ppl...

i went down to support my classmate who is magnum force that day!! these girls had alway been the only ppl in class who alway accompany mi thru the long walk to the sport complex as they train there too... same as mi so we alway walk there 2geter... i alway hang out with them too and i knew all about all the hard work and pain they went thry.. jus like they know mine.. so i know i will surely go down support them in the finals... when i was there... OMG there is so so so so so many ppl lohz!! but i manage to find a spot and wow.. i was truely amazed by the guest team from THAILAND.. OMG.. their stunt was like WOW.. haha... truely jaw dropping... den when it was my sch's turn.. wow.. they turn in a GREAT PERFORMANCE MAN!! truely great!! and after watching all the other team's performance, i got no doubt they would be the champion.. there is no fight really.. MAGNUM IS THE BEST....

as they line up for the annoucement of the result, one of my classmate saw mi.. she was like very excited and start telling the other teammate.. in actual fact, i knew around 10 person inside the squad.. haha.. den my classmate saw mi and they are all so excited and happy tat i came.. haha.. i jus keep on assuring them by giving them the thumb up and say they are jus gonna be number 1.. and so the result was annouced and i was right.. CHAMPION FOR THE 5TH TIME!! wo0o0o h0o0o0o!!! so i happily went down and there they were, crying and shouting... my classmate ran up to mi and shouted "u came!!" haha.. i can truely feel their joy as i was feeling it not so long ago at the IVPs... and so after the encore performance by the champion, they came over and we took photos!! i feel out as they all got their uniform but i feel great as i was there with them feeling the joy.. hehe.. after tat they told mi that they were really very happy to see mi cause i was the only 1 who went down to support them... and i realised.. they are already one grp of fren i will miss a lot..

last part of my entry.. i catch HITCH that day... OMG.. i was totally blown over... a lot of ppl told mi it wasnt a good show but for mi, i think it works wonders. this show had simply been an inspiration for mi... i think it was damn touching and it really give guys a renewed confidence.. will smith, a "date doctor" can create chances for guys to get to know a lady and from there on, he advice the guy on how to let the lady see the magnificant side of them.. and wooh.. they are together...

i personally like a quote inside very very much.. i have to admit after watching the show, it give mi confidence that i might jus be able to find my princess... it jus push mi a little harder, give mi tat bit more of confidence and that very much of enthusiasm... and my fave quote is "NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER WHEN, NO MATTER WHO... ANY MAN HAS A CHANCE TO SWEEP ANY LADY OFF HER FEET.. THEY JUS NEED THE RIGHT BROOM..." super quote man!!! my inspiration!!!

the show protray why precisly it is so hard to fall in love and to approach the other sex to initiate a conversation. the date doctor jus help to create a chance for the guy to meet the ger AND to have the ger NOTICE the guy.. there is alway ger who will not notice guy ard u.. look carefully k... anyway.. how i wish i have the "date doctor"'s number... sigh... need it man... no ger notice mi de....haha..

I AM BACK..... again...

2005-01-17T01:25:00.000+08:00

wow... so i am back again writing my post... actually i got alway come back and see who commented or wat.. but jus tat i nver post a new post... haha.. i guess u all tot i am nver goin to update my blog again rite.. lol...

so what up in my life? there is so much thing that i dont know wat to say too.. i reckon this wouldnt be a very long post bahz...

okie... i am now trying my best to build a stronger frenship with my classmate but i know it is gonna be damn hard.. but i will try... haha... but my frenship with those buddies and sisters in track and field is really on a high... i can safely say tat i do garner their respect!! hahaha...

studies wise.. i am so so so glad that i have finally completed my uploading of my module which mean i dun owe ngee ann any more module!! whahha... and this sem is so so much more relaxing that last sem.. however.. sad to say it is also my last sem le... going army soon... damn... dread it.. not that i fear it.. i had been an ncc 1st sergent lo.... that y i know that army is gonna be more boring than scary... nervous i am... dread of sianzation of course..

love life is a total failure bahz.. but den... to all of u peep reading my blog... dun say i am bad or wat k... but now i jus feel tat not liking anyone feel good too.. why? cause i can go ard "flirting" to many ger and see how the situation goes.. haha.. but when i like someone.. even if she dont like mi or wat, i will still be like "faithful" to her.. haha... but now.. my heart is like being broken by someone who is not even my other half... lolz... come on eve and janice and mel?... more fren for mi!! whahha.. jus kidding..

new yr come le... time flies pass so fast... wish everyone's dream will come true ya? janice get a good bf (rich, understanding, nice bod), eve can be a teacher!!! oh man.. hope u dun vomit blood!! haha... and mel lehz... already got a gd bf... okie i know le.. i hope that ur mum would get betta!! and now as alway.. i will end my posting with song lyrics!!

My boo... such a meaningful song for mi...
Usher
There's always that one person that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me, it's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby, you will always be my boo
Alicia Keys
I don't know about y'all but
I know about us and uhh it's the only way we know how to rock (repeat)
Usher Verse
Do you remember girl, who was he one
who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl who was the one
who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and people screaming your name
Girl I was there and you were my baby
Chorus: Usher
It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo)
Now another brothers' taken over
but its' still in your eyes (my boo)
Even though we use to argue it's alright (it's alright girl, that's okay)
And if we haven't seen each other in a while,
but you will always be my boo
Alicia
Now if you loved when we were younger you were mine
And when I see from time to time I still feel like, (that's my baby)
And if I see you no matter how I try to hide (I can't hide it)
And even though there's another man who's in my life,
you will always be my boo
Alicia Verse
Yes I remember boy, cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy, the moment
I knew you were the one I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame and people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby
Chorus: Usher
It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo)
Now another brothers' taken over but its' still in your eyes (my boo)
Even though we use to argue it's alright (it's alright girl, that's okay)
And if we haven't seen each other in a while, but you will always be my boo
Bridge
My ooh my ohh my ohh my ohh my boo (repeat)
Chorus: Usher
It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo)
Now another brothers' taken over but its' still in your eyes (my boo)
Even though we use to argue it's alright (it's alright girl, that's okay)
And if we haven't seen each other in a while,
but you will always be my boo
Alicia
I don't know about y'all but I know about us and uhh it's the only way we know how to rock (repeat)

Back...

2004-10-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

yoZ... i am back... dun really know what to say... 1 very impt thing to say is that after putting in countless effort and hours training for our major competition, the IVP (inter varsity and poly games) my team, ngee ann track team emerged 3rd overall. it was a very very very sweet moment in my life and i will not ever forget that very moment. being from the previous batch where we emerge last place, to putting in the effort and hours and the countless amount of scarifice, we jumped from last to 3rd place. i was choking with emotion when the result was announced and to say that i was damn happy is an understatement. all in all.. the feeling was undescrible and even till today, some of us still cant believe we got 3rd!! half colour award for mi!! yipee!! as for mi and that ger... well.. not much to say.. she tok to mi abt her treating mi as a fren.. but nver mind, we are still considered good fren now... very surprising according to my buddies in track...
suddenly after IVP, i felt quite left out in class.. maybe i was spending way too much time with track buddies... but i jus cant help it.. the bond had gone extremely strong and i guess i jus have to slowly click a bit more with my classmate all over again... haha
i love the show summer scent on channel U... oh mi god.. pls go catch it man!!
jus got cable tv.. haha.. can watch mtv le!! but dun know my dad wanna continue with it after the promotional month a not..
getting max online too!! my exam coming le.. really need to study le... i need some new fren!! PPL INTRO ME SOME FREN LEHZ.... whahhaha... till next time...
for the ger i like... i dun know how long i will wait.. i dun know how i will feel after some time, but..

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little piece of your faceI haven't kissed
You step a little closer to me
Still I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer each day
So close thatI can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy '
Cause it's not hard to fall
AndI don't want to scare her
It's not hard to fall
AndI don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

dead

2004-09-15T01:16:00.000+08:00

officially dead... trouble with lecturer...
stress abt studies and lecture...
stress abt my IVP-- competition... coach, sch, team and myself have high hope for mi... argh!! stress!!!
stress abt relationship--- jus to tell u peep.. it is over.. go goin gone..... trust mi
stress until wanna commit sucide....
see if u peep can see another post of mine...

Confusing

2004-08-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

I am finally back... my fren will be asking why did i took so so so long to have a new post.. haiz.. i got lot of thing to say and tell.. bet u all will have a gd time reading it.

My previous blog tok abt mi having dream.. this blog tok abt lot of thing wor...
This few week had been crazy for mi... seriously.. if i am not strong mentally i think i can jump off a building liao.. remember i say i will try to forget abt the ger in my previous blog? sad to say, i am not strong enough to do that.. after the incident which she became closer to mi.... what can i say... we are very very very close now... ppl mistook us as couple.. HAHA... i know seriously no chance de... how can a ger who treat u as a bro like u? she might be close to me, all the thing we do, it make mi feel we are so so close.. i am a bastard, y? cause i had taken her for granted, take for granted as if she is my girl fren liao... wat am i thinking? by doing this, i will only get more hurt and sad if nth came out between us.. but i jus cant pull myself away... the feeling.. is jus like a couple, though i know she dun feel it as that way la.. it had been a long while since she say she treat mi as a bro... but i really hope there is progress... i am now in so deep shit... i wanna confess to her after my IVP.. a inter poly and university competition la... can u guy give mi some idea on how to go abt doing it?

2 day ago, we were training... i broke my personal best in my pet event high jump... i can now jump 1.67m compared to last time 1.6m!!! i know is still damn lousy la.. but is still a new height ma... before that, my msn nick was "bcoz u say jiayou, i will try to break my PB".. den after breaking my PB, my nick is "bcoz of u, i broke my PB".. that very day i broke my PB, she decided to go off alone.. i was suppose to go home with her but in the end this happen... i quite affected but after tat, she called mi.. wanna ask mi abt wat watch to buy.. so i say i go down to causeway to look for her and she say ok... in the end, no watch was chosen and we were back to bukit panj plaza.. we went to look ard and i found 1 watch which was nice.. she think it is nice too and decide to buy it.. i chose 1 colour and she accepted tat colour too... haha.. after paying, the saleger give the package to mi, as if i am the bf... whahahhaha

yesterday, a bad day... she is blowing cold.... i felt a sense of loss... i felt damn scare.. i got the feeling that i am gonna lose her... den i rem.. she wasnt mine to begin with.. so what if she give u vague ans in msg? so what if she is a bit cold toward u? she need to be alone, she need time of her own, and u know what? she isnt even your gf!!! oh my god.. feel so damn terrible.. suddenly the propect of not being able to get her seem so strong... tat it.. i have step into a sinking boat.. y cant i jus forget her den, now cause myself all this hurt..

Just now in msn, some of u might see my nick, "thankz god.. i had cleared my PB bcoz of..... u? i gonna say it after IVP.. even if u dun wanna hear it.... sorry". that was my nick... den she suddenly came and ask mi abt my nick... i dun know how to react... i know today is not goin to be the right time to confess no matter how much i wanted to... so i told her some reason... i know she know i am jus giving a ans jus for the sake of giving.. but she wanna act blur so be it.. after tat, she told mi she will brb, so i say ok... but den, after ard 5min, she suddenly ask mi "is it u wanna tell mi something after ivp?" oh my god.. this is it.. i am in deep shit.. i seriously do not know how to ans this question... i ask one of my bro who know all abt this and he gave mi a gd way of answering.. so i type "aiya.. if i got anything to tell u, i can tell u anytime right.. haha.. we see each other so often.. lol.. if got thing to tell u i wait until ivp finish, my hair grow white liao lo" i know it is damn bad bluffing her.. but seriously today is not the right time to confess... i cant take the setback if i fail man...

So i am here now, writing my blog, thinking of what i should do... what do u all think? she say something to mi, dun treat her so gd, she will be scare... i ask "scare wat?"... she say, cause no guy treat mi so nice, so dunbe too nice... oh man.. i seriously dun know wat to do.. ladies.. how long do it take for someone to touch your heart? this is the 1 time i feel truely so strange... all the ger i like before is i like them from the start... for this ger right now, i nver even notice her at all.. till i discover she live near mi... argh!! i am dead le la... ivp coming le.. what should i do.. i know if i dun say it out.. i gonna so hate myself forever... y ger like to act blur? but at least it make both of us less paiseh... see i write so long le.. full of feeling... let u all see until shuang... whahahha... jus kill mi....

DrEaMs....

2004-07-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

My god... I am so so so injured... must be the long jump training i did tat day... damn.. my shin is hurting like crazy... so today i nver train.. dun think i can train 2moro also... tat y i came home early today... i took a nap... and during the duration of this nap... i had one of the best dream i ever had.... i was with this ger(i shall not say who, but is a dream ger in sch).. we were toking and toking and was toking abt relationship. in the dream, i was telling her i feel damn inferior and feel that i am not goin to be able to get a gf soon.. she sort of encourage mi and so on but i just continue to say i am lousy, not gd enough.. and den she got very sad and jus ran away... dumb dream right? whahahha... after which i realise tat she had feeling for mi!! (if only this is true in real life) so i chased after her... running and running afterwhich i caught up with her.. i hug her tightly and apologised... she was very angry and do not want to listen to mi at all... however i jus held on to her tightly... jus as she was abt to break free, i hold onto her hand and we held hand... whahhah *so sweet* den she jus sort of cool down and we walk hand in hand back to where we previously are.... oh man.. when i woke up i jump straight into bed again jsu hoping for the dream not to end... but i am feeling the "xin suan" of the dream now as i know this will nver happen to mi in real life... i had a few of this type of dream along the yrs and they are so wonderful when u r dreaming... but when u wake up... u feel the "xin suan" i had nver been lucky with girl at all... i know i am damn ugly la... haiz... my slogan for this problem is.. "I am alway only good enough to be a best fren and joker... yet nver gd enough to be a bf..." do girl like joker or cool cool guy who alway sit one side? whahhaha... i am jus born to be the joker.. popular? maybe... popular enough to make them like me as a bf? nahz... no way man...

To the ger i mention in my previous tread.. yeah, i am trying to forget abt u.. i know u dun know it.. but i know everything tat u feel and say... y? cause it is my fren u r toking to... haha... btw.. dun keep on asking mi why i am sad when i know u do not want to know the truth at all... and dun try to be a bit closer to mi jus bcoz someone say u had suddenly look like u r distancing yourself from mi... it make mi happy if i am not in a right mind.. but it make mi feel damn sad cause wat u r doin now (getting on closer term with me) is jus an act... all an act... it hurt mi damn so much u know....

Finally back

2004-07-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

I am back!! Finally decided to come and post something new... Jus wanna say i am so in love with a ger in track now... when i am not with her... i feel i can try my best and do without her... however.. when i saw her and hang out with her... i feel i can nver nver nver do without her.....

YoZ

2004-06-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

I am new here.. haha.. should have done this long ago...

LoNeLy.....

Movinggggg

A nice song to ponder.. =)

Nature, Mind game, Alex, IBP, toughest, Challenge, Opening up the ball....

Deep in thoughts...

An 一切完美! day....

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

Projects!

Once again

=)

Deep in Thoughts

~~布拉格恋人~~

'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately

A post for SAM

the MOST successful class gathering in 2005... ~~REMINISCE~~....

解脫

A yr had pass us by..

Some random fact u might know/dun know abt Alex....

Corrine far far away land bday celebration!

Once again, the only photo to show for yifeng commissioning..

The Bro who know me the best in the world & his commissioning!

itching to update but jus waiting....

I cant breathe easy.....

The WORST injury i had ever suffered in my 22 yr life....

If the feeling is very different, can u say that it is a wish fulfiled?

祝我生日快乐 or 不快乐??

REMINISCE OF A LOVE SONG

In the Mood to Blog....

HAHA!! I have been looking for days in HONG KONG for THIS!!

MY LOVE!!!

Wifey 2!!

Wifey 3!!

No worries i suppose...

why...

6000 yr of love....

Finally....

SAT 090906

A tale of u & mi...

I love rainy days...

TGIF!!!

Can u believe it?

Can i start to blog regularly?

No matter what.. No matter when.. No matter who

I AM BACK..... again...

Back...

dead

Confusing

DrEaMs....

Finally back

YoZ

布拉格恋人

the MOST successful class gathering in 2005... REMINISCE....